Drunken Conversations (In 3 Different Bits)
I
V: I bumped into some girl yesterday.
R: You lucky bastard… did you bang her?
V: Shut up R, don’t always make fun of everything. She is in love with you.
R: Huh? Who is she? Do I know her.
V: I think you do. You met her two years ago, when she was studying. You flew over to see her too.
R: Oh. You are talking about her.
V: Yes.
R: How do you know her?
V: Well I found her on the internet. She’s been looking for you frantically. She asked me if I could give you her details.
R: No. I don’t think that’s a good idea.
V: Do you want her’s then? She sent me her address and phone number.
R: No. I don’t want it.
V: What should I tell her then.
R: Don’t tell her anything.
V: Won’t she be hurt?
R: Yeah so what?
V: So… you’re gonna tell me about her?
R: No. There’s nothing to tell. I met her. She was alright. Not at all like I imagined her to be. I fucked her, came back. Never saw her since. But it was like a one night stand that wouldn’t end.
V: It’s a shame. Because from what I know of her, she would have been perfect for you. Man she even talks like you.
R: Well yeah. What do you know, she was so foolish, she actually believed me when I told her that I was a fucking virgin. She thinks I just carried condoms around for fun!
V: You are going to rot in hell… I hope you know that!
R: Man! I love women!
II
H: I met your ex. She is pretty hot.
V: Really? I never knew that
H: seriously man. She is hot. I was actually wondering why you left her.
V: I fell out man. She was too clingy.
H: I didn’t know that. She seems alright to me.
V: You speak as if you really know her.
H: Uh… Actually Im dating her…
V: What? You are?
H: Well, I wont if it’s any problem with you.
V: No. No problem with me. I already dumped her 2 years back.
H: Thanks man, because I really like her.
V: So what did you say? She is hot now?
H: Ummm Yeah. She’s become something of a headturner.
V: Oh. How long have you been seeing her
H: For a month.
V: FOR A MONTH!!! And you are telling me now?
H: I didn’t know how you’d react. Plus you only said, you fell out with her… and that you yourself dumped her two years ago.
V: Yeah but still, I slept with her for 3 years. You should have told me.
H: I thought you didn’t care.
V: oh yes I do. Get of my house before I get real wild and break your head.
H: Man! I hate Men!
III
B: The bitch has been sleeping with him for almost an year. And now! Now on the eve of our marriage they want to confess.
N: I’m sorry honey. You want some more rum?
B: Yeah. I mean I can see his smiling face and I want to kill both of them
N: Come on now. Be a big boy. Don’t cry. And it isn’t as if you didn’t know.
B: No I didn’t know!
N: But you always suspected it… didn’t you?
B: Please don’t remind me!
N: I only want you to know that things could have been worse. What if you found out after you got married.
B: I would have killed her.
N: You would have killed her anyway. Stop crying now. I’ll get you some more ham.
B: I hate women.
(* These are three different conversations that I believe have happened in the same night. The three conversations have one person common. The rest of the people don’t even know each other. This is a true incident.)
- Neha
