Monosyllabled Apologies
All I had to give him, I have already given. But he wants more. Definately more.
He says he just can’t handle the spasmic silences. You know, the stances where he becomes hysterical with his desires and I become numb with solitude.
Whoever said that opposites attract? Sure sparks do fly when they collide. But what about the sparks? What about them? Where do they go?
They burn everything near them. Everything they touch.
I’m thinking of forest fires. Maybe the last one was caused by the love of a meandering butterfly and that of a toad from the springs. Who knows?
My eyes are getting weary. I smell of myself. And not of him. We both are in love. But with different people. He is in love with a girl he sees but not knows. Someone who he thinks loved him once. I am in love with a thought. A thought that I buried in a small graveyard along the ally years ago.
I am tired of groping in the dark. It takes everything away from me. Even the Words. The words that mean so much to me. The words that are my world. The words that keep me warm in my nights of mourning over the thought. Sometimes… Sometimes I dont even know who I am anymore. So much am I smothered by his unrelenting machismo. But then someone also said that boys will be boys. I sometimes close my eyes to block away the sight of him. To forget that I am here and now. He mistakes my pain for my indifference. He mistakes my inability for his failure.
He asks me questions I cannot answer. I try to shun him. But he persists.
And then sometimes. Sometimes when I’m on the last page of my notepad, I just fill it with monosyllables.
I am Sorry. K..
- Neha
Tags: augury, silence, pain, solitude, heartbreak, apology
K. says:
oh hey! don’t be sorry girl! I love you!
January 9th, 2006 at 06:45 pm
Dolphin says:
Sometimes pain is wonderful.Gives you reasons to live,carry on….
We all love you neha….:smile:
January 9th, 2006 at 10:37 pm
Isaiah says:
Yeah!! Pain is right maybe u haven’t got enough of it.
January 9th, 2006 at 11:09 pm
ER@sUrf3R says:
Pain IS a wonderful thing, it initiates a fight..a fight to get well, a fight to better standards. I love pain. I was once so obsessed by it that I used to mutilate myself just for that pleasure…As every loss initiates a struggle to win, pain initiates the hunger, the battle toward betterness…
January 10th, 2006 at 01:11 am
K. says:
January 10th, 2006 at 08:12 am
Neha Mujumdar says:
that was Neha
January 10th, 2006 at 03:26 pm
K. says:
agree with what?
January 10th, 2006 at 03:39 pm
Shashank Bajaj says:
Life is a bitter truth but accept it with happiness then u will find everyone cares abt ur feelings
I must say ur writing skill is marvellous
January 10th, 2006 at 05:11 pm
Neha Mujumdar says:
i agree with the statement that pain is a wonderful thing.
January 10th, 2006 at 07:31 pm
Isaiah says:
No one quite understood wat i said, did u?
January 10th, 2006 at 09:47 pm
K. says:
heck I don’t deserve the spittle of a rabid dog.
January 11th, 2006 at 07:48 pm
Isaiah says:
Yeah right!! u deserve worse.
January 11th, 2006 at 11:47 pm
anirudh says:
beautiffuly apologised…and bout words..they can do anything…:!:
January 13th, 2006 at 06:52 pm
Isaiah says:
It’s only words…
I mean there’s only so much that they can do.
January 13th, 2006 at 10:55 pm
Ajay says:
Neha.. think you should get out of it… the real world awaits you.. with arms open.
January 14th, 2006 at 01:28 am